Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
