My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
