You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
