It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
