Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
