So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
