i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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