Already got asked if we're dating
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
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