My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
