stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
