I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
