If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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