4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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