Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
