are you still at the devil's house?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
