Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
