Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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