If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
