So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
