I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I am available for nakedness
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
