omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
