im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
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