lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Randomize
