The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
