If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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