Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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