i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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