kristin has been a bad kristin
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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