Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I didn't notice because vodka
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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