Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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