his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I came so hard my ears popped.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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