i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
you have to choose: penises or morals?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
