singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
