But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
