All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just google imaged poop.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Randomize
