He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Come see our sink grown plant.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
