Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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