South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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