My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
