I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
