I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
