You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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