you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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