I think i peed on brittanys purse
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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