Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
We just shotgunned beers for America
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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