he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
