I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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