It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
