Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
