She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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