Me. At least after what I've been through.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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